


Eternity

by whelvenwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3417986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whelvenwings/pseuds/whelvenwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was rare to have perfect days like this. Sam was out on a hunt, so it left Dean and Cas alone in the bunker. Usually, it’d be just Dean, but since Cas had lost his grace, they invited him to stay. So, here they sat, Dean messing with Cas’ hair while he talked, head resting in Dean’s lap. And here they are, sharing stories. Cas, of course, had a lot to tell. Dean didn’t mind though, he liked to listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eternity

Dean had his fingers buried in Cas’ hair, gently teasing out the strands. He was sitting loose and relaxed on the sofa, a five-o’clock shadow blurring his cheeks and chin, a satiated late-afternoon softness in his eyes. Cas lay flat, his head resting on a pillow in Dean’s lap. He had his eyes closed and his hands raised, sketching out pictures that only he could see as he spoke – spoke of amazing things, in a voice as gentle as grey falling stardust. Beside them, the lamp buzzed and flickered occasionally.

“… that was the last time I saw the solar system from above,” Cas said. “I was too far away to see the moon. All around me, the stars were burning. And I was pure grace, shining alongside them.”

“You must have been beautiful,” Dean said. “Uh, it.  _It_ must have been beautiful.”

“It was,” Cas said, allowing Dean’s fumble to pass without comment. His face was serene, showing a contentment that was beyond smiling. Dean pressed his hand a little deeper into Cas’ hair. “More than beautiful, it was… powerful.”

“Mmm.” Dean looked at Cas’ hands, now resting on his chest, soft and curled like fallen petals. He felt his heart squeeze; how Cas must miss feeling that power, that strength. To be a being of pure energy, and then to lose it… to become simple flesh and blood, skin and sweat and dirt. To lose everything you were, and have to carry on. “Cas… what’s the most powerful thing you’ve ever seen?”

Cas was quiet for several moments, his brow creased slightly in thought. His chest rose and fell steadily and slowly, matching time with Dean’s. The lamp flickered again, with a little crackling noise. Dean would have to replace the bulb later.

Eventually, Cas moved. He opened his eyes and reached above him, gently tugging Dean’s hand out of his hair and lacing their fingers together. He watched their loose, intertwined grip for a moment, before looking up into Dean’s eyes.

“This,” he said. Dean swallowed and held Cas’ hand a little tighter, but shook his head in confusion.

“What are you talking about?” he said. “You’re supposed to talk about, I dunno, a star collapsing, or a volcano erupting, or a tsunami rising, or something…” he smiled. “You know people hold hands all the time, right?”

Cas matched his smile, but didn’t let go of Dean’s hand.

“Those things… are changes,” Cas said. “Stars collapse, and die. A volcano overflows with lava, the Earth shifts. Great waves form and fall. These things are powerful, but the way they change is in essence the same as  _all_  change. Stars die in the same way as the tiniest flowers. Volcanoes overflow, and so do bathtubs and tea kettles. Most things are always moving, always changing.”

Dean sat quietly, his thumb running lines up and down the backs of Cas’ warm fingers. Cas paused for a moment, his eyes following the movement.

“The truest and most powerful things,” he said softly, “are the things that do not change. Things that endure… that bend with the force of time, but are not broken.” Cas swallowed. Dean didn’t speak; he gave Cas time to think through what he wanted to say.

“Over the course of the past years… I have lost you a hundred different ways,” Cas said. “I have been separated from you, I have told you to leave me, I have been told to leave. I have done… terrible things – things that I thought could not be forgiven, that no one would be able to see past – Dean, I’ve deserved to lose you forever.” Cas spoke matter-of-factly, ignoring Dean’s frown, his mouth half-opened to interrupt. “But – still – when I reach for you, you put your hand in mine without question.”

“Of course,” Dean said roughly. “’Course I do.”

Cas smiled, his eyes meeting Dean’s.

“We can’t go on forever, you know,” he said sadly. “No matter how much we want to. One day, we’ll be parted, Dean. Your body will age, as – as will mine. One of us will go before the other. We won’t be able to touch or see each other anymore.” For a moment, Cas fell silent and closed his eyes. Dean swallowed hard and gripped Cas’ hand more tightly than ever. He breathed slowly, trying to ease the tightness in his chest. The lamp hummed and flickered.

Cas’ eyes opened, and he looked up at Dean with a fierceness in his eyes.

“But,” he said, “even though we will change, and lose each other, there is a part of us that will endure. And it is this.” He held up their joined hands. “As long as there is a shred of either one of us left somewhere in the universe,  _this_  will exist. This will watch the stars die and the volcanoes erupt and the tsunamis roll. If there is a scrap of your soul, it will reach for me, and if there is a fragment of my grace, it will look for you. Our shape will be changed by time… but we will  _always_ hold onto each other, and walk with the other beside us. No matter what we’ve done or where we go. And that will last for eternity.”

Dean was silent. The lamp beside him was getting dimmer, the flickering more frequent. Dean thought of the bulb weakening, the filament melting, changing – but the electricity that powered it would always exist, unstoppable, never-ending.

“I understand,” he said, thick-throated; the only thing he could say. Cas nodded, and closed his eyes.

“I will always be here for you,” he said. “I will always love you.”

Dean slipped his free hand behind Cas’ neck, lifting his head gently off the pillow, guiding him upwards as he leaned down. He reached for Cas and Cas raised himself, understanding Dean’s need. Dean could feel the wetness on his cheeks as he smiled, and closed his eyes. Cas found Dean’s lips with his own just as – with a whisper and a crackle – the light went out.


End file.
